Posts

A DATE WITH MY YOUNGER SELF

I sat with my younger self today for Amala because I wanted to remind her that it is a safe space. We both arrived late. Punctuality was clearly still a problem for us, but I told her how I had somehow managed to become a punctuality prefect in secondary school. We laughed. I don’t know if she believed me, but she’ll see. I watched her eat excitedly. I still loved Amala as much as she did—if not more now. She asked if I had finally decided on a career path. I said no, but at least now, I knew some things I wanted to do. I told her I had learned to love reading novels, although I still struggled with consistency. She asked if we still played the violin. I told her I hadn’t played in years, but I promised to start again because I knew how much she loved it. I missed it too. I told her I loved that I was understanding Mum a lot better, and she was understanding me too. I had realized she was just a girl—figuring things out, just like me. She asked if we were still shy. I told her yes, but...
16 comments
Read more

DEAR ME—NEW YEAR, SAME YOU

 It's big 2025! Let’s pretend it’s still the first day of the year—starting everything clean and brand new. Happy New Year, eyin fans mi! Welcome to 2025, and thank you for all the laughs and engagement last year. Cheers to even more fun and laughter this year! I haven’t made New Year’s resolutions in the past 2–3 years. Instead, I’ve written love letters to myself—little guides to help me navigate the year—and this time, I’ve decided to share this year’s version with you. Dear me, love yourself enough to walk away from situations that don't serve you. One of my favourite lines from Shayo's Soft life rendition is " if it doesn't serve you, it don't deserve you ".  It’s not selfish to protect your peace; it’s survival.  Be bold enough to choose you this year, be kind enough to love yourself more this year, Walk away from people or situations that drain you or make you feel small, value yourself enough to say “no” to anything that doesn’t align with your g...
45 comments
Read more

IS LAGOS A REAL PLACE??

 Are you crazy? Are you unhinged? Congratulations, you’re halfway to surviving Lagos. If you ask me about Lagos, I'll probably say it's a crazy place. But if you buy me a hot plate of abula from the iyalamala across the street, washed down with a “mortuary standard” Pepsi,  I'll tell you how unreal a place it is. One of the things that makes Lagos so unpredictable is that every outing is an adventure.  As someone who doesn’t go out much, every time I step outside, Lagos greets me with something unexpected.   Lagos houses some of  the biggest markets in Africa, so market madness is inevitable. Take the day in October when I went to the market. It seemed like a normal day—until I saw a whole family of five: father, mother, two sons, and a daughter, in a full-blown wrestling match with a vendor. Or the first time I went to Lagos Island market alone and experienced the infamous 'marriage by change'.  The danfo driver gave me and another passenger a si...
22 comments
Read more

A CHECK-IN WITH MY MIND

Image
 Dearest gentle reader, Newsletters from my favorite people have become one of my new favorite things. In Adekunle Gold’s latest “love letter” (as I like to call them), he asked where my mind was at. His exact words were, "So Immaculata, how's your mind?" You can call this my open response to AG Baby’s love letter.   It took me some time to reflect on AG's question because we’re so used to the typical, “How are you?” and let’s be honest, the response, “I’m fine,” has become almost robotic—rarely requiring any deep reflection. "How is your mind?" was more thought-provoking for me. It felt personal, deliberate, and demanding of thought. I honestly don't think I have all the answers yet, but here it goes.   I’d like to believe that, in its entirety, my mind is calm yet hungry. It’s been everywhere lately—hungry yet grateful, appreciative yet unsatisfied. It wants more out of life than I can articulate, but I’m learning to balance these desires with gratitud...
11 comments
Read more

A FAILED SYSTEM

I witnessed one of the most horrific scenes  some weeks ago that made me feel so helpless. I saw a man who had just been electrocuted by a transformer; his skull was practically visible, his skin was peeling, his blood was everywhere on the tarred road, and I could tell he was in so much pain because he kept rolling on the floor as if trying to quench an internal fire. At that moment, I knew he wished he had just died from the electrocution, and I secretly wished the same because it would have saved him from his present agony. However, what made this scene even more horrifying were the things happening around him. The number of people just standing and watching, including very young children, some laughing; LASTMA officials (traffic wardens) going about their business as if everything was normal; cars driving by, simply avoiding him. There was no sense of urgency to save the victim or attempt to shield the young children from witnessing such horror. People just stood and did nothin...
16 comments
Read more

BODY DYSMORPHIA DID NOT FALL FROM THE SKY‼

BODY DYSMORPHIA DID NOT FALL FROM THE SKY!!!! Today, a lot of people are quick to judge others who undergo cosmetic surgeries, especially in Africa, but are not quick to remember the snide remarks made to such individuals in the past about their bodies. Rome wasn't built in a day; decisions like these are most likely the result of negative comments they have heard over the years. Many of our parents try to understand where our insecurities stem from, forgetting they were the first to make "harmless" jokes or comments about our bodies or looks as children. Sadly, some of our first bullies were the adults in our lives—parents, teachers, and others who were entrusted to build our confidence. Growing up skinny in Nigeria was practically character development for me. I grew up skinny and very aware because people pointed it out a lot, directly or indirectly. If I didn't know I wasn't Yoruba, I would have been sure that "lepa shandi" was my middle name. Commen...
47 comments
Read more

IS THIS A SAFE SPACE??

 "Drop one Banger and ghost off, hehehehe".  Maybe this isn’t the best way to make a comeback, but I’ve been experiencing what I’ll call a "little writer’s block." For two months now, I’ve been trying to write, but I haven’t been able to produce a coherent paragraph. I haven’t been able to tell stories the way I like, or maybe I’ve just been striving for a certain level of perfection. Today feels a little different. I don’t really care how incoherent or imperfect my paragraphs are. I just want to tell my story and enjoy writing, as I’ve always done. So there’s no subject here—just random thoughts, more like a diary entry. I’ve struggled with inconsistency and procrastination for some time. One of my greatest idols, Chimamanda, says that "procrastination is the outcome of fear." For the longest time, I thought it was my drive for perfection that led to procrastination, but what Chimamanda said feels like the perfect explanation for "my problem." M...
49 comments
Read more