THE SEQUENCE OF SUICIDE

                                               TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN 

Yes, here we are. I don't know how to start or where to start from, so i'll start anyway.

if you are reading this letter, it means i am in  a better place , I think. I don,t know whether heaven or hell. It's been 16 years of a rollercoaster ride with more sadness than you and i can imagine.

Forget the smile that was always pasted on my face, the amount of times I said i was ok and i was not.  I was dying silently. I contemplated this so many times  but i couldn't summon courage. I couldn't express myself and so I sought a better option. Don't feel bad I couldn't come to terms with being pitied so i told no one.

If you love me, take care of my mum, my most priced possession. Don't let her suffer. I loved her too much, forever in the next. 

I can't say it's no ones fault, those who contributed to me being miserable, thank you. Thank you for every time you made me miserable, it helped me someone courage to find peace. Peace of mind. To my dear family, I love you and i always will. Thanks for your love and support. Promise me you won't cry. what is lost is lost. Live with my good memories.

 The last message and most important, to the world, Don't forget of my existence.

#IN A BETTER PLACE

A few days later...........

 

 Now, all dressed in black ,sitting by myself and asking Why? Why did she do it? why did she write the letter? Why was I the first one to see the letter and her lifeless corpse? Why didn't she speak up? She knew we loved her. WHY? WHY? WHY? and WHY?

SUICIDE IS NOT THE WAY OUT, NEVER HAS AND NEVER WILL BE.

I see her face everywhere, after asking why then i begin to wish that i suspected, or if i noticed, Was I to blame ? She thought of it as her escape route. I could have made this life her "better Place".

 I promised to let the world know of her existence. 

Your mum still hasn't come to terms with the present conditions, she feels it is all a nightmare that will end soon. It's true i love you, we all did and forever would.

I hope you find what you are looking for. True happiness and True peace.

GOOD NIGHT MY DEAR

# IN A BETTER PLACE

It's been six months since you left, I can't help but wonder how you are. I know i can't get answers, so i'll rather tell you about here.

 Your pictures  still hang on the walls at home. Your room is still the same way it was before you left, mum makes sure it is always clean. Your space in school is still vacant. Maybe they still have faith that you'll return.

I still go to the tracks that we ran every Saturday, it helps me feel you. No one has forgotten you. You are forever in our hearts. Tomorrow would have been your graduation from college , so I'll stand in for you. Mum still bought that dress you wanted to wear to prom, that's the newest addition to your room. We hardly eat pancakes anymore because we fill no one makes it better than you.

I can't cry anymore, I feel I have cried enough. All I can hope is that you've found you a better place. There is a space in my  heart that will forever be there.

Wherever you are my good wishes go with you.

Till  the next time I write.........

That's the sequence. We think  it all starts with a suicide note, but that's not the case , it started a long time before that we just didn't pay close attention to those around us. Suicide is becoming rampant this days and  it is a call to pay more attention to those around us.

#SUICIDE IS NOT THE WAY OUT NEVER HAS AND NEVER WILL BE.