BODY DYSMORPHIA DID NOT FALL FROM THE SKY‼

BODY DYSMORPHIA DID NOT FALL FROM THE SKY!!!!

Today, a lot of people are quick to judge others who undergo cosmetic surgeries, especially in Africa, but are not quick to remember the snide remarks made to such individuals in the past about their bodies. Rome wasn't built in a day; decisions like these are most likely the result of negative comments they have heard over the years. Many of our parents try to understand where our insecurities stem from, forgetting they were the first to make "harmless" jokes or comments about our bodies or looks as children. Sadly, some of our first bullies were the adults in our lives—parents, teachers, and others who were entrusted to build our confidence.

Growing up skinny in Nigeria was practically character development for me. I grew up skinny and very aware because people pointed it out a lot, directly or indirectly. If I didn't know I wasn't Yoruba, I would have been sure that "lepa shandi" was my middle name. Comments like, "no let breeze carry you," "don’t break," "you no dey chop?" and many others like that became a constant soundtrack. 

I don't know who needs to hear this—or maybe I do—but if you are still asking skinny people "don't you eat?" in 2024, then you need 100 strokes of "koboko" and some serious social re-orientation because you indeed have a problem and need to "wrap that shit up" before 2025; it's not funny. These questions don’t come from a place of concern; they stem from a lack of minding your own business.

The first time I realized I’d been body-shamed was in 2020, when someone compared my body to spaghetti. Although I knew what spaghetti looked like, I actually looked it up to understand the comparison! I saw it for what it was: a projection of their own low self-esteem. I’m grateful I didn’t let that person get to me, because I’ve never felt my body was inadequate. I have my mum, friends, and family to thank for that. For every “see as you slim” from nosy people, my mum replied, “where she wan see fat; you no see me and her papa?” As a child, I didn’t know what genetics were, but I knew that everyone is built differently—and that’s perfectly fine. But not everyone is that lucky.

Growing up, these “nicknames” weren’t reserved for a specific body type; everyone got their share. You were either “orobo” or “lepa,” “broomstick” or “big show.” Each body type had its label, and none of us were spared. Now, years later, society is still trying to understand why there is a surge in cosmetic surgeries. In the words of TikTok, "It's you, babe."

The role of social media also can't be swept under the carpet. It wasn’t until social media came into play that I even considered certain "flaws." Suddenly, it felt like I was missing out for not having a "big bum" or an "hourglass figure." But the truth is, beauty is so much more than one shape. I love my body exactly as it is. I never miss the opportunity to look in the mirror and remind myself that I’m beautifully created. I’m my biggest hype-man, unapologetically! I hype myself up every chance I get, and you should too. Like Rema said, "all nyash matters—big nyash, small nyash." If no one has told you today, let me be the first: you are more than enough, exactly as you are.

My dearest people, society is insatiable. Do what you want to do because you want to do it, not to appease others. And to society: stop commenting on people's bodies and be kinder with your words. You don’t know what people are going through. Body dysmorphia is a real struggle, and it’s time we stop being its enablers.

Till next time, remember I love you, and you should love you for you too.

Lots of love,  

BUNMA 💕

PS: I’m trying to cultivate my reading habit, so I'll be sharing titles of my current reads or books I just finished. Right now, it’s Only Big Bumbum Matters Tomorrow by Damilare Kuku, which inspired this post.