THE YEAR I TURNED 21

Could you do me a little favour before we enter this piece? Play 21 by Ayra star, not too loud, just at the perfect tempo to continue reading without distraction. Now that that is done, let's get to business.

It's the 9th of December, 2025 at 7:45 and I'm officially 21, yessssss, 21. I am legal everywhere. It's a bit surreal because I was 16 like a minute ago, and at 19 I was so afraid to turn 20 because it meant I was getting old but now I am 21.

Every year brings testimonies for me and this year is no different so let's go down (or up) memory lane. 

I met someone at the beginning of this year, we'll call him the man I met turning 21.

 It must have been the morning of January 4th on my way back to Lagos, alone, after Christmas. Sitting in the back of the Sienna, sulking over my phone that had fallen two days before, reflecting on what a time I had during the holiday and how much I hate good byes. Maybe I was extra emotional because it was the first time I would be traveling by myself.

This man was the closest in age to me on this ride and since the journey was going to be long, I decided to engage him. Told him he looked familiar and got to find out we had mutual cousins. Our conversation hit of, not steady, subtle questions here and there. Interesting personality, I had met someone who liked beans more than rice, wore the thickest clothes in the harmattan heat but what stood out most was that he had a constant smile on his face, one that felt like reassurance.

That, I liked.

And as the journey stretched on, I went back to writing. I wrote about the year I wanted. The woman I hoped to become at 21. The peace I prayed to step into. The money I desperately needed. And the healing I wasn’t sure I was ready for.

It's crazy how people don't carry the brunt of what they face on their forehead because I would later find out that this ever smiling young man had demons he wouldn't dare talk about, how life hadn't been the kindest to him and although I almost always have words of encouragement, I really didn't know what to say to him. You think you've been through worse until you hear a nick of what others have been through.

I constantly think of that bus ride, I made a friend, one whom I haven't still figured out how to comfort but one who opened my eyes.

To the dear man I met the year I turned 21, I know you'll read this, thank you for being my friend and we may see the world through different lenses and have different perspectives but our humanity still is.

That ride till now would be my most exhausting ride because the vehicle broke down almost five or more times. I didn’t know it then, but that ride set the tone for my year — unexpected, a little chaotic, slightly sentimental, and full of surprises. The kind of year where your phone screen cracks, you meet someone, and life quietly rearranges itself in the background, (well not quietly because there was nothing subtle about this year).

And maybe, just maybe, it started in the back of that Sienna. I think that ride was life’s funny way of telling me, “Buckle up, girl. This year will humble you, stretch you, surprise you… and still give you gist.”

 Because after that trip, the year didn’t slow down,it started sprinting. I found myself doing things I didn’t imagine I had the courage for.  I ran for multiple elections in school and won, I got back on my first class degree, I did my Internship away from home, to mention a few.

But I also laughed. A lot.

I met people who reminded me of who I was becoming.

I expressed myself more, I let down my "mature" guard.

And somewhere in between the chaos, the school stress, the broken phone, random burst of tears, the questioning and late-night prayers, I realised something:

I grew.

Not in the dramatic, Instagram-aesthetic way. In the quiet, internal, nobody-clapped-for-me-but-I-still-did-it way.

I'm hopeful for 21, it feels like finally stepping into something softer, something brighter, something mine.

The man I met turning 21?

He didn’t become a love story.

He didn’t become a heartbreak either.

He became a reminder that God still sends soft, unexpected moments even on the days you’re not looking for them,my door to a different perspectives .

As the year comes to an end in a few hours, and we are all reflective of what we achieved or couldn't achieve this year, I don't encourage you to be comfortable with mediocrity but annalize your year with a little more kindness , be accountable for your faults and mistake, take time to restrategize and prepare for the beautiful year ahead. Do all these giving yourself a little more grace.

Open your eyes to different perspectives and be grateful for the unexpected chaos you went through this year, those moments shaped your year more than you know.

 

Cheers to 2025!

Cheers to turning 21!

Cheers to the man I met turning 21!

Have a happy and prosperous New Year, I pray 2026 is good both of us. 

Remember I love you and you should love you too,

Lots of love,

BUNMA💕